Road to Demi-Goddessdom

Demi-Goddess
Pronunciation: \ˈde-mē-ˌgä-dəs\
Function: noun
Date: 1603
1 : a mythological being with more power than a mortal but less than a god
2 : a person so outstanding as to seem to approach the divine


I was lying once in bliss with you.
"You're not a goddess", you amended me. "Rather, a demi-one"
"How dare you?!", I uncertainly shot back.
Would Adam have said such to Eve in their naked discovery?
Fire flooded me. Its passion ready to ignite or destroy.
And, as lovers find, teasing and heat give way to other smoldering.
But, embers remained.
Later, when the fires settled, I thought...

I'm going to have explore this one.

What gave you the right pull me from my noble seat?
What allowed me to allow you to de-throne me?
But, as not to anger the Gods, for they love Pride,
I must not pronounce to know it all. So,
all things considered,
I conceded and

I'm going to run with you on this one.

Demi-Me. What does that mean?
Almost divine? On the way?
Close to perfection? Falling short?
Slightly more there than what is seen?
"Demi" holds the secret. It is the tricky part.
And, I have to confess-

I'm growing to love the 'demi' in me.

I can accept that I'm not perfect. I can accept that there's work
to be done.
I'm molding. Being molded.
Continuously transforming.
But, I'm moving.
Moving closer toward what is and what is not.
I am claiming my right to be loved, my right to be revered.
Pursuing this road is not easy, but I want my 'wings'.
I want them unrevocably and absolutely.
I push on and push on and climb higher to become some 'thing' greater than myself.
The problem is...

I'm not encountering you on this path.

Like Oedipus traversed unseen ground, I was blinded.
I was blinded with Pride and the Gods were not happy.
In my attempt to mask my uncertainty,
I fought vehemently.
Fought to defend what I did not understand.
In my blind fire, I forgot the most important thing.

I did not ask why I called myself Goddess to you in the first place.

There in lies the 'demi' in me. A fatal error.
For I called myself Goddess to remind you to treat me better.
Or better, the demi in me harked Goddess to remind me.
And as the heat of Distraction (a tricky demon itself) smoldered my eyes, I lost myself with you.
And, you've proved a Distraction ever since.
But, I am learning this...

I'm going to have to cut you loose.

And, not just you, my love. All of you.
For you are many.
A legion of de-throners and I can not have that.
You suspected some 'thing' in me all along.
I suspected some 'thing', too, but it was not the same.
And, now I cannot see you the same because I cannot see myself the same.
How can I accept less of you when I am asking more of myself?
Here is the impasse.
And, you knew we would come to it.
That's why you 'demi-ed' me so as not to deny yourself.
For now I know who I am becoming.
And, because I know, I cannot wander in this garden anymore.
There are raging waters elsewhere and I need to drink.
You are not coming with me. I see that now.

I leave with the hopes that someday I will encounter another on my journeys.
One who is on his own path.
Moving.
Moving Forward.
I will wear that hope as my satchel as my feet continue there climb higher.
I will sing a prayer to the Gods.

"Forgive me, PRIDE, but I want more than a mere mortal.
It is my inherent birthright."

And, I will wait.