A Friend Passing

This month has been a taxing month for me spiritually, emotionally, etc. You name it. And, what makes it all so screwy is that I have the awareness to know that it is not that bad. Could be much worse. Still, I'm exhausted.

This evening my sister calls me to inform me that a mutual childhood friend of ours passed away.

His name was Kendall.
He was 25.

He used to come and knock on my door and ask my mother if I could 'come out and play'. Back in the days where you went out to play ALL day and did not come back home till the lights came on.

Kendall had cystic fibrosis and many other physical ailments that provided all kinds of complications also stunting his growth. Kendall was also a kick-ass Teather Ball player. A Teather ball was a ball linked to a pole by a rope that you and another player hit back and forth like assisted tennis. Except you used your hands and could not hit the rope. The goal was to wrap the roped ball around the pole. Kendall, my sis, and I lived in a ghetto so we made our own version of Teather Ball. We took a busted stuffed animal and tied it with rope to the 'No Parking Sign'. This made us popular kids in the hood. We had many adventures.

Kendall also hung out with my sister and I on Saturdays at the apartment complex washiteria. Laundry would take hours and since we had to stay lest our clothes get stolen, he would hang with us. One year my sis and I got new bikes. We weren't allowed to let others ride them. So, my sis and I would take turns "pumping" Kendall (pumping= letting someone sit between the handle bars). And, occassionally, when mom was deep into cooking or on the phone, we would let him take a turn around the block.

And, as time passed, we went our seperate ways. Kendall and my sister became closer because of the natural age similarity. A few years ago he found me on myspace. We became 'virtual' friends.

And, it was virtually that I informed others of his passing.

Technically, through my sister's wishes, I helped her post a bulletin on myspace of his recent death in an effort to inform all of his friends. I also aided her wishes to post a heartfelt comment on his page. That was a highly unsual feeling for me adding on to this peculiar month. Really? Am I posting a Death Bulletin on Myspace?? Is this the new way to communicate?? Having been to over 40 or 50 funerals in my lifetime (relatives passing and my family were church singers), I have learned that there is no 'right' way of expressing this kind of news or grief. So, why not online? The sooner, the better. Friends may get an opportunity to express their feelings than find out later. People who would have otherwise not known.

So, amidst the online games and applications, the "What 80's movie are you most like" and "Send A Friend A Drink Requests", I post this...

Kendall,

You were a great friend.
You added adventure to my childhood.
You had spirit, ambition, and determination.
You had struggles.
You were resilient.
And, you were triumphant.
I am thankful to have known you.
And, your family shall be in my prayers.

Stay in peace,
Heather